Spoilers We Saw Coming

Evil Facial Scars in “Spectre” and the “Star Wars” Reboot

 

Warning:  A Skinnies Award with the term “spoilers” has spoilers.  Duh.

Sitting through a Bond film or a Star Wars installment is usually a sure thing for dermatology fans.  The villains in each franchise typically have plenty of skin problems to keep our interest.  Can you blame the producers?  These films are delivered to a huge international audience, so tossing in deforming skin findings can reveal bad guys to spectators with maximum efficiency.

 

Yet in “Spectre” and “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”, the two main heavies have shockingly normal skin…at first.  As “Spectre”, the 24th Bond film made by Eon Productions, opens, Christoph Waltz is shown playing Franz Oberhauser, the son of the man who adopted and raised 007 as a child.  No scarring, baldness, albinism or extra nipples are shown. What kind of Bond baddie are we dealing with?  Just when we skinema obsessives were giving up, Waltz reveals he has instead taken his mother’s maiden name…Blofeld.

 

 

Yup, the same Blofeld who sported a hideous scar in “You Only Live Twice” (1967).  That's Donald Pleasence with prosthetic makeup and the vintage Nehru Jacket.

The same Blofeld that inspired Mike Myers to recreate the disfigured look for both Dr. Evil and Mini Me.  Hearing the name in “Spectre,” Bond-philes know it’s just a matter of time. That scar is now as inevitable the umpteenth version of the “Shaken, not stirred” line.


Sure enough, a lab explosion lacerates Waltz/Oberhauser/Blofeld, confirming his villainy.  No hair loss yet, but they had to leave something for Bond 25.


A similar uneasiness settles over the audience rooting for thrills from the latest “Star Wars” flick.  As First Order villain Kylo Ren, Adam Driver is introduced wearing a dark black mask. He is obsessed with his grandfather Darth Vader.  He’s like a sad fanboy who has Vader’s cracked and melted mask as a piece of twisted memorabilia.

 

We wait to see Ren’s face.  Surely he has a scarred countenance to match his malicious ways. So it comes as a surprise that when he removes his mask, his face is...normal. Even hunky in its own way. What the Force is going on here?


Leave it to the final reel, as Kylo battles nascent Jedi-to-be Rey.  She lets loose a swing of her light saber and manages to give Ren the laceration we anticipated.  Movie cliché achieved, the credits can now roll.


In fact, the creation of the scars is so similar in the two movies, you wonder if the same ghost writer added this plot device for both flicks. Interesting that in these movies, the scarring is actually directly caused by the “hero.”  No wonder these dudes are pissed!


Runner Up, Spoilers We Saw Coming:

John Conner is Evil in the 2015 Terminator Reboot


In the Terminator franchise, John Conner is a hero born in our time who saves the world from evil robots in an apocalyptic future. In various Terminator installments, Conner has been shown with facial scars, yet he bucks the scarred bad guy trend by remaining heroic and such.  In last summer’s “Terminator: Genisys,” Conner travels back in time to our era and this time he breaks BAD.  His scarring was extra ragged, so we had a feeling he would be posing for the Rogue’s Gallery.  Plus, they reveal this “twist” in the trailer! So much for suspense!



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